Monday, February 18, 2019
The Sweetest Season
The journey to pregnancy was unlike how I thought it would be. I took so much for granted- my presumed health and the ability to carry a child. I assumed that because I wanted to be a mother, it would be easy to conceive. Doesn't God (automatically) give us the desires of our hearts?
If you've been following along here for a while, you know that the journey to pregnancy was anything but easy. Months and months of charting my cycle, BBT, ovulation kits, and "just not trying" all seemed to lead to nowhere. That is, until last September when we were given the greatest surprise of all.
All of a sudden, the prayers we had sowed were worth it. We were reminded again that God's ways are not like our own. And we were oh so grateful and humbled that He has given us the privilege of bringing this sweet boy into the world.
When I was waiting and waiting and waiting on my now husband to magically appear, I wrote him letters and also wrote in my journal about all the dreams I had for us- what we would do together and characteristics I hoped he embodied. These prayers were so instrumental, and I truly believe God heard and answered the deepest desires of my heart. Now I write prayers and dreams and hopes for this little one that God has entrusted us with, and it seems surreal.
It is hard to believe that I am now in the last trimester of this pregnancy, but alas, here we are! I simultaneously want to slow down time and speed it up. Pregnancy has been full of joy for me; I love being pregnant and know I will miss it. But I also cannot wait to meet my little buddy and hold him in my arms and on my chest.
I feel like pregnancy gets a bad rap these days- people talk about how uncomfortable they are and how annoying it is to give up certain foods and drink. And I get it. I do. I sometimes feel like a whale because I have to roll out of bed. And there are certain foods and beverages I cannot wait to be able to enjoy again. But every single minute has been worth it. And I know that when I see my sweet boy's face, I will keep saying, "Thank You, Father, for this miracle. Thank You for giving me my heart's desire and entrusting me with this sweet and precious life." So I embrace the awkwardness of this season and keep saying thank you, knowing that God is using it to continue to draw me closer to His heart.