Friends, let's be honest. Sometimes being single sucks. Especially around this time of year, when the commercials and ads are rampant with big diamond rings, ginormous teddy bears, gorgeous flowers, and all kinds of romance. It's enough to make even the sappiest of us want to throw up, or maybe just cry in the shower (I know I'm not the only one who does that).
If you've been around her for a while or know me personally, you know that prior to Rory, I was always the bridesmaid. You know that I dated one person and then married that person. And you also know that as I shared with you along the way, it wasn't always an easy journey.
Here's the thing about singleness that I think the church (and we) aren't exactly doing right. We don't know what to do with single people. There are Sunday school classes, small groups, and events that are completely planned around married folks with or without kids. But there just isn't always a lot going on for the YoPros (young professionals; y'all know I love my abbreviations). And us married people? We just want to marry off the singles because we love marriage so much! But friends. There's a better way.
Singleness is not a curse. Singleness isn't something to get rid of or to treat like it's a disease. It's a gift. It doesn't always feel like it, but it is. The other day, I listened to an episode of a podcast called The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey (it's my fave). In this podcast, Jamie interviews women who are walking with Christ in many different ways, callings, and seasons. Her guest for this show, Tara Leigh Cobble was incredible, and she spoke so much truth that has been rattling around in my head ever since.
She spoke of how when we have a misconception of who God is, we are not living the way He wants to and not allowing His character to influence how we respond to what He chooses to give us. There are many single people, she says, who are angry with God because He has not yet given them a spouse. I was one of them for a while. But God, she says, is always kind. If what God does is always kind, then whatever situation He has put us in is His ultimate kindness to us.
Y'all. This was mind-blowing to me. I only wish I had grasped this when I was single. Heck, I wish I could grasp it now. We always want what we don't yet have. And yet God. is. kind. Always. Everything He does is an extension of His love for us. We have to keep our wits about us when we are tempted to despair and believe that He has forgotten about us. The opposite of that thought is truth; He could never forget about us. We are His beloved. He could never, ever forget about us, even when we are in the midst of a desert season or still in the waiting. He has engraved our names on the palm of His hand. His thoughts for us outnumber the grains of sand. This God isn't someone who's withholding from us or delighting in our misery.
So can we bring Him our questions, our fears, and our longings? The answer is a resounding yes. But we can also hope and pray that in whatever season we find ourselves, we ask that He be most glorified and that our lives and thoughts be consumed with Him and His goodness. Is your hope in finding your perfect mate, or is your hope in Christ alone? Our world is fleeting, friends. Marriage itself is for life here on earth, but heaven is waiting, and we must place our hopes there, where our Christ will forever be all we want and need.
So what now, you ask? Speak truth over your circumstances, life, and feelings, and know that the author of your soul loves you with a fierce and unrelenting love. Your life is good right now! So go live it and enjoy it, dear one. I love you friends, and I'm praying for you.
The Enemy Says
God’s Word Says
You are less than because you are single.
You are whole and made with purpose.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works; which God has prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Marriage is a reward and something you can earn.
All gifts come from Him. A gift cannot be earned.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
He will not be faithful to His word.
He is always faithful. Always.
He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.
-1 Thessalonians 5:24
You’re the only one who knows how you feel.
He knows your every thought.
O Lord, You have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discrern my thoughts from afar. -Psalm 139:1
You are without hope.
Your hope is in Christ.
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul. -Hebrews 6:19
Your life will get better with marriage.
The heart is deceitful. There are trials in all seasons.
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.
Jesus is not enough.
Jesus more than enough.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. -John 10:10
It’s ok to settle.
Never settle. God wants the best for you.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations.
Satisfy your desires with lust.
Value genuine love more than the fleeting passions of lust.
Put to death, therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Feel sorry for yourself and jealous of your friends.
Be content and grateful for what you have been given.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances.
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Your life will really begin with marriage.
Your life has already begun. (!!!)
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.