Monday, September 26, 2016

Messy Marriage Mondays: A Life of Intentionality

Y'all, today I get to welcome my best friend and sister Teresa to the blog. She's a wealth of wisdom, has a deep well of joy, and a loyal advocate. Today, she's talking to us about intentionality within our marriage relationships. Hold on, because she's got some good words for you!

{Rudi B. Photography}

"I can't, I'm busy"

For me, this phrase is used what seems like everyday. I get annoyed hearing myself say it. Why am I so busy? What does busy mean? I feel as if I am missing out on things and events because I am doing other things and events. Weird cycle. So what "things" and what "events" can I/am I allowed to miss out on? Is there a priority or pro con list I have to make? For me, YES. There is totally a list.

Sometimes this list is written but most of the time this list is more of a reflection type exercise.

There are 24 hours in a day and 7 day in a week so there are 168 hours in a week. 
I work 8 hours a day for 5 of the 7. So that leaves 128 free hours.
I usually sleep 7 hours a night all of the 7 nights (yes I need my sleep) so that leaves 79 hours.
The gym normally takes about 1 hour of of 5 out of the 7 so that leaves 74 free hours.
So then there's church, 1 hour a week and our small group, another we're down to 72.
And let's say 1 hour at the grocery store a week so now... 71. 

Out of all the hours in a week, around 2/3 of those are allotted to other things. So then factoring in dinners, coffee dates, TJ Maxx trips etc. the hours are getting thin.

So yes, out of the remaining hours, of course I want to spend a lot of that time with my spouse! Really, remaining hours should already include time with my spouse AM I RIGHT?

Friends, my words are meant to be encouraging. It's okay to say NO!

I am so hard on myself when I cannot do or attend everything! I feel as if I have a duty to go to and be at everything for fear I miss out? Miss out on what? In reality, I am missing out on alone time with my hubby or time to, for goodness sake RELAX! Our culture tells us we have to be going and doing all the time but what about built in relaxation?!

I do not think every hour of everyday has to be planned, but I am a huge advocate for prioritizing our lives. The time that we spend with the Lord is also a factor in a shrinking amount of hours but oh how important! It seems that we are quick to busy ourselves with things that that confine us to a desk or things we HAVE to do but what about things that nourish our souls? Why are those things not first on the list? Maybe for some of you they are but for me, it's a struggle. I am being candid when I say that I do struggle with priorities not being prioritized properly.  

Sometimes, I give my husband my "leftover" time when he should be getting dibs! 

I am challenging myself that at the start of each week I will outline time that is just for us. Time for us to reconnect, to talk, to turn off the TV, to put down the cell phones (gasp!). AND how awesome would it be if we did that EVERYday! Why shouldn't we? Even if that means saying no to family or friends. 

Don't let the world tell you it's a bad thing to stay at home, relax and unwind. After all, we are better when we take care of ourselves!


  1. Good morning, sweet friend. I had just finished my devotions and saw your blog. What a great reminder to me. I have been married to David, 44 years. God reminds me that David is a precious gift from Him. Take time to enjoy each other. We are missionaries in central Mexico. So many demands can take away from God and each other. God help me to put you first and my husband second. All will fall in to place then. All to HIS GLORY !!

    1. Olivia, you are always so sweet to read and comment on my blog. :) It mean so much! And yes, sometimes you need a reminder that your spouse is a precious gift and not just your roommate! Love you!



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