Thursday, October 22, 2015

on marriage so far



Well friends, I have been writing this blog post in my head for about a month now, so I figured it was time to put the pen to the paper, er, the hands to the keyboard and give you a glimpse into what has been going on in my heart and mind these past three months. (I know, I know, I'm a baby newlywed...)

Marriage is one of those things that people have a whole lot of opinions about- some good and some, well, not so good. Before we got married, people were telling me all kinds of things. Just in case you aren't familiar with our story, we dated, got engaged and were married in nine months, and it wasn't a shotgun wedding. This whirlwind romance invited all sorts of words from errybody in my life. It was almost like we were supposed to be scared about marriage because it was going to be the biggest change ever and we were going to be feeling all sorts of feelings and learning all sorts of things. And to that I say, yes. I am feeling all sorts of feelings and learning all sorts of things. And it is good, friends. It is really good.

Rory and I have had the conversation several times about why we think so many people told us that marriage would be hard. Is it because they were really young when they married and had to "grow up" together? Do they just like drama? Are we supposed to be fighting more?! There are myriad ways to look at marriage. We choose to look at it in a Biblical sense. Marriage is a covenant between a man, woman, and God. It is not to be taken lightly and is a portrait of the church as the bride of Christ. Marriage can depict true love to the world when two people commit to daily dying to their wants and choosing to live for someone else's happiness.



Here's the thing: marriage is hard. There, I said it. But you know what? Life is hard. I think we need to shift our thinking about life in general, not just marriage. Hard does not equal bad. Easy does not equal good. So when I see my sin before me for the umpteenth time and am reminded of my selfishness, do I get upset and whine that this marriage thing is hard and I want out? Or do I thank God for continuing to sanctify me and making me more like His Son? People get married for all sorts of reasons. Some people get married hoping that they will no longer be lonely. Others marry for hopes of financial stability. Still others marry because they want a family of their own someday.

Yes, marriage is hard, but it is also the best gift I have ever been given. Not only is Rory the best speaker of truth over me, swatting down the enemy's lies like the spiritual leader ninja that he is, he is also just really funny. We laugh about the dumbest things. Like I think we are ten years old sometimes. We have so much fun. every. single. day. So while communication is hard and awkward sometimes and I whine about silly things, this marriage thing is also really, really fun. For real, y'all. There's nothing better than coming home every day knowing that your best friend will be there.

We got married because we love each other and we love the Lord. He brought us together, and we love that fact. We believe that we are better together than apart and that our personalities and gifts work together to make one pretty great person. We were both doing just fine before we got married; we were whole. Neither of us "completes" the other. Because here's the thing about marriage: it shows you sides of yourself you most likely haven't seen and wouldn't have seen otherwise. Sometimes that is painful, at least when you resist it. But when you realize that the Lord gave you this person to walk alongside forever, then you are immensely grateful and do not want to imagine life without them.



I could live my life without Rory. I shudder to think about what it would be like, because he daily enriches my life and encourages me. He strengthens me and cheers me on, and he takes care of me. Plus he's super cute and it's pretty great to wake up next to him every morning. But I could live life without him. He's not Jesus. Here's the thing, though: I don't want to live my life without him. I love him beyond words. He is my best friend, my confidante, and my home. So I chose not to live life without him when I took his name, knowing that my life would never be the same. And each day, until death parts us or Jesus Christ returns, I will keep on choosing him. Because it's worth it.

{All photos by the lovely Elissa Ewald}

8 comments:

  1. Such beautiful sentiments Jessica. I praise God for you and Rory and know together your light will shine ever bright for the Lord until the perfect day.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Rose! I am so encouraged by your sweet heart!

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  2. Beautifully said, Jessica! We've loved waking up next to each other for more than 33 years now, so we definitely understand the Joy you & Rory are enjoying together & we are so happy for you

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    1. Thank you so much, Mrs. Page! I am so grateful for sweet women like you who have influenced me through the years!

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  3. I love this so much friend! SO much truth here. I totally agree about shifting our focus on how we view life. I am in the season of learning that motherhood is hard! It is pointing me to the Lord in new ways each day - and THAT is so good. He is so gracious to use every season to draw us to Him. Love you and love hearing what He is doing in you and Rory!

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    1. Thank you so much, Gretch! It is really cool to see how the Lord is working and it is such a crazy adventure. It blows my mind how the Lord has used Rory in my life to constantly remind me of God's goodness and sovereignty. :)

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  4. Amazing and incredible post!) I was reading this article with pleasure!) Unfortunately, I know that many people can't handle any marriage. I read about it on https://kovla.com/blog/5-reasons-people-can-t-handle-marriage/ and it's so sad... Maybe if they read this post they would change their view attitude to marriage! Good luck.

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    1. Thanks for reading, Anna! I think a perspective change is something that I pretty much need daily!

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