Thursday, July 21, 2011

i. choose. JOY.

Today was a prime example of what I wrote about last night in my post. The enemy loves to steal joy. This morning I woke up tired and unmotivated. I just wanted to sit around all day and read online or piddle around the house. But I knew I also had a task at hand; I needed to prepare for my teaching at the brickyard this afternoon. When I finally got around to beginning to prepare, I was distracted. I stopped a couple times during my preparation to pray out loud against the attacks of the enemy and tried to keep pushing through. On a little facebook break, I received a message from a friend asking how she could pray for me this week, to which I responded, "Pray for supernatural energy." 

Upon my arrival at the brickyard, I was still tired and just begging that the Lord give me supernatural energy and the words to say so that His word could go forth and not my glory. During teaching, I was still feeling inadequate, until the Lord reminded me that newsflash: It is not about me. I am not here to serve the people at the brickyard. I am here to serve my King. He is the One who gives me the intellect and strength to do anything worthwhile, and I cannot take any of the glory. He graciously brought to mind the verse that says, "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory." When I was singing on praise team in high school, I would constantly repeat this verse to myself so that I would remember that I was to be on stage as a lead worshipper, ie. someone who was also worshipping the Lord, not as a performer. Thus, today I realized again (because I have learned this lesson many times in many ways) that the Lord does not want to make me look awesome or have the people marvel at my lessons. He simply wants to use me as a vessel to plant seeds in their hearts so that they might grow in His word and come to know Him who saves.

After class, we lingered a while so that the Tarahumaran ladies could sell some of their artisan work to the team members who are only here for this week. Thus, after eating, I was able to play with the kids for a longer time than usual and just be silly with them. And that, my friends, was pure joy. 

One of the Tarahumara ladies with the purest and sweetest smile. She smiles with her eyes, too.

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