Tuesday, May 24, 2011

His faithfulness

As I sit and ponder about the meaning of life, I am often reminded of...just kidding, did y'all think I was going to go off on a Twain-inspired tangent?

But seriously, I know I have not been as consistent with blogging this month. The reason behind my inconsistency lies in the complete insanity that is the month of May. The month of May is always busy when you are in school as a teacher or a student. This month has been insanely full of event after event. There are so many special occasions that surround graduation and the end of the school year for students and teachers. Everyone's schedule will be full for the next two weeks. The students will graduate on June 3, and soon after, many families will leave for the summer or even for a year-long furlough. The migratory culture here is somewhat startling to me. People come and go, and the kids are used to seeing dear friends come, go, return, and then come and go again. As I find myself preparing for another year, I think about how different things will be this next year and hope that the Lord will continue to prepare my heart for whatever He brings next. There are so many things about my life that will be changing once again, even though I will be in the same place. 

I have friends who will be moving, and my roommate and I will no longer share our "casita bonita amarilla" (cute little yellow house). One of my best friends here just got married, and another seems to be on a matrimonial path as well. At school, I will be teaching fifth and sixth grades, which means that I will have my same kids. (YAY!) After school next year I hope to help lead the high school girls' Bible study...so many things are on the horizon for the year to come. 

As a person who likes to think and plan for the future, it is so easy for me to get wrapped up and consumed with worries thoughts about the fall, and it is still two and a half months away. How do I allow myself to walk away from the promises of the Lord and forget to rest in Him? He is so good. He has never left me without a need, but simply provides everything in His perfect timing. Always.

Each Monday morning, we have a chapel service to start the day and the week off with what is of utmost importance--time with our Lord. The last few weeks, each speaker has talked about a characteristic of God. This week, Mr. Barbier, our 6th grade teacher, spoke about God's trustworthiness. He is always trustworthy because He loves us and wants the best for us. I think that all "good Christians" know these things in their minds, and yet sometimes our hearts forget. As Jeremiah says, our hearts deceive us, and we somehow come to believe that the Lord is not for us and is somehow against us, just waiting for us to fail again. But this is not the love of the Lord that we know and have as believers! His love is unfailing, and He loves us with an unconditional love that is incomparable to the love of our mother, father, brother, sister, or spouse. He loves us with a love that reaches to the heavens and cannot be measured. His love is indescribable. I think what I love most about the Lord is His faithfulness. You see, I have quite the fickle heart. I bounce and flit from one thing to the next, hoping that I will somehow be fulfilled by whatever I have found this time. But the love of the Lord draws me back to my Father's arms and reminds me that even when I am unfaithful, He still is faithful, and He longs to be loved by me and allow myself to be loved by Him. He is so good to me, and I don't deserve His wonderful love. 

As the old hymn says:

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

2 comments:

  1. Thanks,Jess. I am so amazed by what you're doing, and what the Lord is doing through you. You give me encouragement to seek the Lord more and to stand for Him. I had the craziest dream last might that I was on a trip to somewhere and there was a really scary, intimidating man in charge of the trip. I noticed that some people weren't being treated right, so I went to talk to him about it. Rather than actually talking about it, he stared me down and gave me threatening looks for even bringing something up until I went away crying. Then the dream changed to be about a little girl who had to put together some type of project for school, but the night before the day of he presentation, someone got a hold of her project and destroyed it so that she would lose everything, including all confidence in her own abilities. There ate dark forces around us, trying to intimidate us and make us feel like we can't do anything right, like we can't do what God as asked of us, so why should we even try? But know these are all lies, and I can do anything through Christ who has strengthened me. Therefore, after these dreams and these thoughts, your message is encouraging, reassuring in me what I already know to be true. Thanks.

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  2. Oh wow Kaylee! That is intense. I have never had such vivid dreams before that were so full of symbolism. It is so cool that God speaks to people in so many different ways. He is just good like that. I am glad that these words were encouraging to you. Thank you for your encouragement right back to me! I can see how the Lord is working in your heart. :)

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