Saturday, April 9, 2011

stream of consciousness

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
- Corrie Ten Boom

Recently, thoughts of the future have bombarded my mind. First of all, my mind cannot fathom and understand that it is April. Do y'all know what that means? I have two months left of my first year of teaching. In one month I will be 23 (SCHWAT?) years old. I have one year left of this two-year commitment to live life here in Chiwas. 

Wow. The passage of time is somewhat scary when you stop to think about it. The thought of leaving my life here in another year breaks my heart and scares me beyond belief. What will God have for me next? Could I stay here longer? Do I need to know where I'll be in two years right now? (No.)

Francis Chan says that "How we live our lives...is how we live our days." How do I live my life each day? Do I take the time to smile at my students and to be patient with them even when they are literally driving me crazy? Do I get off of my email long enough to get to the root of their problems? Do I ask them how they are doing and genuinely want to know? Do I spend time with the Lord that is uninterrupted and worth setting apart? Do I love my roommate? Do I make allowances for the faults of my friends and family because I see that we are all in process and growing in the beauty of Christ's love? Do I take the time to do the things I should do instead of thinking about doing the things I know I should do?

These next few months are going to bring forth winds of change. And because I am always worrying about the future thinking ahead, I want to share some truths with you that the Lord has laid on my heart in order to calm me down give me peace. I know that next year is going to be different for the following reasons:
  • My current roommate and closest friend here in Chiwas, Tanya, will be moving out, which means I will be living on my own without a roommate/family for the first time in my "adult" (HA!) life.
  • I will have a brand new class at school; my class will probably still have 10 students, but some faces will be new to me. 
  • I will no longer be a first-year teacher, so I might actually know what I'm doing and be more comfortable. Hopefully.
  • Our principal and his family will be on furlough, so the leadership at the school will be different. 
With all of these changes on the horizon, my little head starts to worry and wonder at things, and my heart gets a little heavy. But then I remember what my colleague Jeff always says- "God's track record is 100%." He has never, ever failed me. Have I been disappointed because I didn't get what I wanted or thought I needed? Yes. Have I been lonely at times? Yes. Has He ever left me? No. Has He ever given me something that I did not need or that wasn't what He wanted for me? No.

He is good. All the time. 

At Bible study on Tuesday night, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a precious time back when I was still in Athens. I remember sitting in the new Tate center with over 1,000 college students, soaking up the word of God as Bob taught at the first Wesley gathering of the school year. He spoke about how the city of Athens was going to experience a revival like never before because the Lord was about to break through in a new way. I remember being so encouraged by the Scripture He shared from Isaiah 43:

 18 “But forget all that—
      it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
 19 For I am about to do something new.
      See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
   I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
      I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
 20 The wild animals in the fields will thank me,
      the jackals and owls, too,
      for giving them water in the desert.
   Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
      so my chosen people can be refreshed.
 21 I have made Israel for myself,
      and they will someday honor me before the whole world. (emphasis mine)

He is going to do a new thing. He is always up to something good; I have to choose to see it and believe that He is in control and knows what is best for me. My God is good, and He is worthy of my praise and adoration.

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